SAD SAD SAD

So today my Wilma was hit by a car and passed away - she got out of the garage while it was shutting and was hit - I am so sad I can not even express my feelings - I want to just eat my feelings away, but I am so lucky my daughter sent me an encouraging text about eating healthy so I am resisting and trying to stay on track - we got monicals pizza for dinner and I ate 5 pieces not 15 - I don't know how to get through this without gourging myself and my feelings down - its how I survive its what is normal to me - I am ashamed that this is how I have always handled my stress - I dont want to go backwards but I don't know how to move forward either - I pray that God gives me strength to work through this with out leaning on food!!