A new day

So I haven't been doing the greatest on this healthy change of lifestyle - I have asked the question - if you are an emotional eater what then do you do with the emotions you are trying to stuff down? No one has been able to answer this question so I think it is something I need to find on my own - kickboxing has helped but sometimes the times for that class are hard to get to - but I am going tomorrow :) :) :)
it does help me destress - but the question is what am I stressed about - I have a great life - honestly the best life - I think the answer is fear - fear of the unknown - I hate not knowing what the future holds in so many area of my life
So what are my fears - well where shall I start
biggest fear - is letting people down - my kids, family, co-workers really anyone - and even myself - which is a new thing for me -
anyway I need to stop being afraid and need to say that no matter what the future may hold I will still have those things that I cherish most - my kids - and my family - well most of my family that is :) - I do miss my brother but I don't know what to do to change it so I am just trying to accept that and move on
so what good is going on - well so many things - first of all I went back to ww and weighed in - I did not look at my weight because I knew I had gained and I didn't want to face it - but no one was in the lobby so I talked to Annie - the ww leader that I love - and told her of my stresses of not knowing what to do with the stress that I have been eating for so many years - of course I got teary eyed and she told me I was not alone that most of the people who are overweight are stress eaters - she asked if I would bring the topic up and I said no I didn't have the strength or confidence to do so - she said she would - I felt better after I talked to her but there is still this thing that I am missing - well I walked in the meeting room and saw a woman who was like I know you - initially I was like SHIT I have been found out - well it turned out that the woman is my new son-in-law's aunt that my daughter just loves - she and I exchanged phone numbers and emails and are now going to be each other's support system - she found me on facebook so I sent her a message today just wishing her a good day

The other good things was the subject of the meeting last night - Annie says if you eat an entire chocolate cake - don't give up get up and brush your self off and move on - don't punish yourself for it - so I am TRYING to do that - today was not a good food day - stacia my baby and I went to ISU - she is leaving for college in August and wow I am scared - where does that leave me??? I have been a mom since I was 17 and I feel like yes I will always be a mom but here comes that change that I struggle with so much - so I have decided that I am going to NOT stay home all weekend and just clean or putz around every weekend I will do something with Mike or my friends - I feel better and it always helps my depression that yes I also struggle with - ok long post just alot to get out
btw I went to go to overeaters anonomyous and haha I went to the wrong location so next monday I now have the correct location and I am no longer scared I am excited I think it will help and with my new support system I am gonna do this!!!!