long time no post

First I must apologize for not posting for so long - I didn't realize it had been over two weeks - I have been having good and bad days - today I finally stepped on the scale in fear but was happy to see I had not gained any weight back - so I was already to get refocused and then the day started - I was good until about lunch where I was late to rotary and everyone was waiting for me to start the meeting - stress is never good for me when I am trying to be healthy so I ordered walleye before even taking time to think and it was not a good choice - I am a stress eater - the food kept coming all day - nothing big but just snacking which I know is bad - dinner was subway and I had sweet onion chicken terrikiy or how ever you spell it - very good but now my stomach hurts from eating all day - its amazing how bad I feel when I don't eat healthy all day - so I read a post on fb today about a girl who gets up at 5 am everyday to work out for an hour and how much she dreads it but how good she feels when she is done - what an inspiration she is to me - so tomorrow is a new day and I am going to get back on track and get this weight off - I am so tired of being fat and embarassed to take my coat off because I think everyone is whispering about my size - sometimes I was to just give up but I can't - I want to change my life to a healthy life style I want to live a long time so I can bug my children all the time with my opinion - I am calling my dr again tomorrow to request another beginning steps for chantix I quit smoking before and I need to again - I want to be healthy and to stop hiding from the world - hiding is easier so that is why I am struggling with the other - but I am searching for the strength to get back up brush myself off and say today is a new day - thanks for listening I bet it doesn't make much sense but my relationship with food is such a love hate relationship - love food but hate that I am so fat - hate that I turn to it in times of stress - hate that I am embarassed about the person I am today - I am off work tomorrow and am going to start the day with a 30 minute walk - no reason not to I am off work - every new habit must begin with that first step - so tomorrow the steps are starting - which me good luck and keep that motivation and support coming - love you all!!!! (both) :) thank you for your positive reinforcements and believing in me so much more than I ever believe in myself!